paradox of choice

2009-01-26T20:36:00.002+08:00

our feelings. our affections.

this is just one of the few observations i have made. shallow people in the society tend to like, or perhaps infatuate, someone due to looks. people ,with depth, like someone not solely based on their looks, but also their personality traits. that would be good, but recently, i feel that there is another aspect that people tend to miss out on. this would be generalisation of their personalities. i strongly urge couples to choose carefully, and look upon your partner on a broader & wider scope. people in the society nowadays treat their partners with a lot affection and love, however, they treat others in the society like dirt and rags. what seem to you may be, "aww, he's so romantic", "he's so responsible". however, on the flipside, he might not be that ideal. thus, one suggestion would be to enter a phase of observation without bias, only through this would one attain much better and more accurate judgement of the other party.

personally, i've somewhat a hierachy for my social circle. i do admit that i don't treat all my friends with the equal attention and time span. however, what i do admit is that, i give every single one of them an adequate and reasonable amount of respect that deserve, which everyone should do the same. no one should be looked down on and despised. everyone deserves a second chance to turn a new leaf. what we can do is to help and salvage the potential friendship, by offering a helping and a lending a shoulder whenever possible. i believe only through such a mentality and philosophy will the world take a giant step towards world peace.

2009-01-26T20:16:00.002+08:00

i have thought through, and i personally feel that it's very important to have a clear conscience. others may think badly of you, but as long as your conscience is clear, all will be good and well. it's relationship is similar to an ice-cream soda and a straw. how others view you would be the straw, however, the way you look upon yourself would be the soda. thus, which would you choose, the straw or the soda?

the next issue that i feel would be interesting to touch on, would be on issue: sex. well, this generation, or rather, my generation is a generation that take things for granted, and this will lead to many negative repurcussions. sex is not a game of chance. pleasure can be one thing, however, it's secondary. nature is fair, and we humans are made in such a way that, we should like what we do. thus, nature created us to enjoy what we do. thus, by hating things in our life, would be equivalent to going against nature. anyway, back to the point, pleasure allows us to enjoy the whole sexual intercourse, and the purpose? reproduction and the continuation of life to ensure the survival of mankind.

therefore, from here, we can conclude that pleasure obtain from sex is secondary, and the definite chief aim would be to reproduce and create people of our kind. in other words, we should not swop the priorities, and give in to something that is less significant. one of the key errors that our generation have to correct on will be our moral integrity and values. well people nowadays turn the tables around and put pleasure first, before the definite chief aim. this partly is caused by human nature and lust, which is one of the seven deadly sins. thus, we have to improve and take more notice on our personal actions and thoughts.

one of the detrimental reasons why our moral integrity and values are plagued is due to the media. the internet, magazines, movies. all these attributes to the reason why our generation is declining morally. thus, internet pornography and masturbation are definitely nonos, even though you have hit the required age-limit, because they are assistants to lust, which will destroy one's life. this is one of the reasons why successful businessmen crumble and fall when they womanize.

all in all, everything has a purpose; find the right purpose

2009-01-26T17:12:00.002+08:00

i just took a run, and it did help with the sorting of thoughts. even though, i had made a grave mistake, i will worry no more. more often than not, people worry about the past and the future. what they neglect is the present. thus, instead of worrying about the mistakes i've incurred and the regrets that i resulted in, i will focus & live the present to the fullest. i'm gonna live my days, as if they were my last, & do what i can to improve my life, as well as for the others. this life is really a privilege given by God, and if i were to waste it on the past mistakes and continue procrastinating my life away, it would be worse, isn't it?

thus, my resolution: live my life to the fullest!

2009-01-26T16:33:00.002+08:00

i need to get a life, seriously. i need an adrenaline rush to spice up my pathetic boring life. i'm tired of the way i'm living my life, and i need to engage in some activity that really sparks off a flame, and sex is not included. am contemplating on photography, but i think i lack the patience. maybe running would do some good, especially with health.

2009-01-26T16:12:00.002+08:00

a brand new lunar new year, which started off pretty well, but flaws settled as the hours passed. there are some important truths in life, which i realised in the hours that passed since the breaking of dawn. firstly, i'm smitten by liu yi fei, and i've to find ways to overcome this desire for her, hahas. secondly, if we settle down and do nothing, boredom will settle in, which forces you to do certain things that you'd not want to, and they might be against your morals. i too, must find a solution to this problem. for the former, perhaps i can learn how to appreciate her, instead of getting all smitten and delirious. as for the latter, i think i should get a hobby, a pastime. i believe that would help. yes, i'm sure it will!

i need a burst of adrenaline and enthusiasm!

2009-01-25T23:13:00.003+08:00

this might be the last post for the lunar year of the rat. i just returned home from the reunion dinner at the concord hotel. the food was good and sumptious, pleasantly satisfying i must say. apart from the food, i have sorta sorted out my thoughts and i had a small conversation and discussion with my parents on my life, and that was helpful with my plans for the future, as well as the present. life's good, and it'll better in time to come. change has arrived. the best is yet to be.

as for the lunar new year's wishes, there are quite a few. firstly, i hope everyone will stay healthy, and those who are ill, will experience full recovery. secondly, i hope that everyone will be safe throughout the entire lunar new year, and may there be less natural disasters and terrorist attacks. thirdly, i hope that all those who are taking their major exams, such as the O-levels and PSLE, will succeed and attain the scores and grades that they want. nonetheless, i hope that everyone will achieve good grades in their studies, to benefit mankind in the future. fourthly, i hope all those who are experiencing financial difficulties, will experience a breakthrough, & may the economic situation improve, allowing everyone to prosper. lastly, i hope that the coming lunar new year will be happy, joyful and smooth-flowing.

Happy Lunar New Year!

2009-01-25T17:22:00.003+08:00

times flies, and it's already the chinese new year. life's gonna zoom past real fast and i better catch the wave, and create a momentum so strong that it spikes the pace that my life is pacing. well, perhaps it will be good if i write down a few good and worthy resolutions for the chinese new year, and keep it to that.

1. be disciplined!
2. be determined!
3. be organised and neat!
4. do not procrastinate!
5. do not lust!
6. be more health-conscious!
7. be more pro-active in studies!
8. be punctual!
9. respect others and their ideas!
10. be more responsible!

yes, i guess my eleventh resolution is to stick to those ten written resolutions and turn those lifeless words to reality. discipline and determination are definitely lacking in my own personal and academic life. thus, being more pro-active in work & in play. i guess this is somewhat similar to enthusiasm. but nonetheless, apart from a healthy mindset, a healthy framework must come into place. thus, being neater and more organised would be advisable. following which would be the big enemy, known as procrastination. been having war with it for the past few years, but this year, i'm sure to conquer it, watch me, yeah? as for lust, it's a new & recent intrusion. but likewise, i'm gonna conquer it, though there may be temptations and distractions, to pull me out of my fortress of purity. nonetheless, i will not succumb to lusting and tempatations such as pornography. alright, i'm tired of writing on, just read on and exercise your fertile imagination on the other four, yeah?

gotta shower and head for the reunion dinner, cya!

2009-01-25T17:15:00.002+08:00

have been watching grey's anatomy for the past three days, & it is definitely the love of my life, at this moment. hooked or addicted, you might say, but drawing of inspiration by this film is beyond my grasp for words. definitely inspirational and it sparks off aspirations in me. i don't know how long this will last, but i do hope it lasts, and in turn transfrom into reality.

medical studies, my call.

"they make it hard for a reason, there are lives in our hands"

2009-01-25T17:07:00.002+08:00

nicholas is seeking definite and positive change in life!

seriously, i feel that i have wasted my entire day away, till now, though it is true that this written blogpost might prove to be a procrastinating tool. much has to be done in order to achieve my targets in life, and for the year. underperformance has definitely been my call for 13 months, and i don't wish to continue this way, thus, i seek change. change is good. hahas, suddenly, i feel as if i'm an strong supporter of obama, but it's true, change must come.

only through change, will i be able to surface.

2009-01-20T18:00:00.002+08:00

just had my dinner. it would be lie, if i said that nothing was achieved today. likewise, if i said that today's an achievement. took a biology class test today, it was managable, i must say, however, it would prove to better if i did memorise and study harder for it. nonetheless, the process of doing it was satisfactory. as for now, i guess awaiting for its results is the only option left. whereas for the chem class test, it has been postponed to thursday. thus, i should feel privileged to be able to study and grasp redox over the next two days. apart from the tests, i admit that i felt sleepy after recess. my hypothesis, drowsy element in the food i ate. thus, perhaps that's an aspect that i must work on from now onwards.

discipline and determination, that's my call.

2009-01-19T21:57:00.003+08:00

alright, i have gone through both homeostasis and redox reactions, but i've a really strong feeling that i have not fully grasp the both chapters, thus, i have made a pact with myself to wake up earlier tomorrow, regardless the circumstance to fully understand and grasp the topics at hand. whereas for the physics assignment and the emath homework, i will have to find other ways and means to complete them. oh yes, and i will to head to the physics lab tomorrow after school to carry out phsyics spa experiment 1 cos of my absence due to orientation 09. oh wells, that's life, i won't fight with it, cos life always wins.

to sleep or not to sleep?

2009-01-19T19:34:00.002+08:00

a shower.

organisation of my studying materials.

redox reactions & homeostasis.

sleep.

"last but not least", definitely sounds good, doesn't it?

2009-01-19T19:28:00.002+08:00

with a new outlook of life, self-discipline must exist. though i admit that this brand new motto inclines and pounds on flexibility, there is no clear cut route for the fact that discipline can be slackened. nono.

definitely a nono!

2009-01-19T19:26:00.003+08:00

alright, let's leave the negative emotions aside, and proceed on to a few important stuff that rather my attention. firstly, i have decided to change my view of life, into something refreshing, and less stiff.

artistic.

how's that?

2009-01-19T19:23:00.002+08:00

today was hectic. truth be told, much are to be done till the end of the day, due to a couple of sickening distractions. hormonal changes, hormonal tempations. yucks. why must it strike me when i just want to settle down, and concentrate on my work & studies. leave me alone, and stop harassing me. be gone!

2009-01-19T19:15:00.003+08:00

life's worth working towards perfection. there may be temptations and distractions in the way, but they are not worth our attention, & it will only hinder our progress in life.

i believe life's an art. it can be beautified, and it can be tarnished. it really depends on the choices that we make, and the thoughts we processed. if there's a thought that not positive or unholy, filter it off. disallowing it to make entrance into your conscious mind. this can only be done and activated by the subconscious, but before all this can occur, oneself must understand that temptations will lead to adverse consequences, and only those who resist, will prevail in life.

be gone, lust!

2009-01-18T20:20:00.002+08:00

positions that we are in, are the various consequences of the choices that we have made in life. however, good or bad, the position may be, unless improvement is made, deprovement will surface. as the saying goes, the only constant is change. and only through improvement, are we able to change for the better. consientious observation of oneself, and sturdy self-discipline equipped with determination will one be able to surface from depths of temporary defeat. regardless of the circumstance, humans will be able to rise from hopelessness, though there may be attractive temptations.

only those with discipline and determination, will taste success.

2009-01-18T20:10:00.003+08:00

a one-way ticket. birth and death, applies to all. however, the process & the entire journey differs for the living, the dead and the living-to-be. this philosophy, too, will live on beyond the perception of time. this journey that we have embarked on is a journey that we choose, & since we have already embarked on this one-way journey, why not make the best out of it?

remember, there's no turning back, and forward is the only motion. however, it is important to understand that there are no perfections in life. neither are there condemned cases. there are only rooms for improvements.

changing and improving oneself are ways of life, and humans should take on such ways of life, as their very own, cos only then, will they be able to fully maximise their ticket that they have purchased to roam the earth.

2009-01-18T20:06:00.002+08:00

birth and death, applies to all. the living, the dead, the living-to-be. this same philosophy lives on. however, the difference is the choices & the bifurcation points of our lives. our life is a one-way ticket. however, from a more positive point of view, our lives are actually a vacation that's granted to us. on the other hand, our lives are also a liability, which we have to take responsibility for. as mentioned, the beginning and end applies to all, but what differs is the process we take.

returning to the crux, life's a journey. & interestingly, the length of this journey is subjective. with foresight, things appear as it is, so does life. however, if we were to view it without the aid of it, it seems magnified a hundred fold. therefore, our time on earth is not as long as we percept.

2009-01-18T19:24:00.002+08:00

life's a journey. a race that's subjective, and a life that's not pre-destined. life is breathe into the souls of infants when they first let out their first cry, & as the light penetrate through their vulnerable crystalline iris, light enters their lives, brightening every aspect of their entrance into this world.

life's a journey. a journey that has an end. death. it comes as part of the package that we accepted, when we were granted life in this world. clearly, life & death are part and parcel of our lives. no bargains.

entrance. departure. similar to all.

2009-01-17T22:12:00.002+08:00

life's been hectic lately, with assignments and tests, at every turn. life seems to have taken the fast-track, with datelines to meet, and work to complete. life's not gonna be any easier, that i can assure, and it seems that i really do have to get my momentum going, and at the same time, keeping it constant. i guess that's the key to succeed, at the moment, cos igniting the spark-plug is not sufficient. the fuel and sustainability of the engine is equally crucial for the success of this journey of opportunities.

...

once upon time, there lived two farmers, and their farms were situated beside each other's. however, there was a serious drought, and both farmers needed rain to water their crops, in order to get harvest. though they were stuck in exactly the same circumstance, one of them continued to pluck the weeds and attend to all the needs of his crops, while on the other hand, the other farmer bowed down to his fate and retreated back to his shabby hut, giving up hope.

after a week, the circumstance remained constant, and the drought continued, but the farmer who believed in himself and his ability, trusted that his hardwork would not come to knot, and it will be all paid off. just as he believed, the very next day, dark ferocious clouds loomed over him, bringing along rain, which ended the reign of the 7 month drought.

who trusted himself more?

moral of the story: you reap what you sow

2009-01-08T19:30:00.002+08:00

back from a day's work of orientation, kinda drilling and tough with the 240 minutes challenge, in place. apart from that, there was also the planning of the campfire item for the class, progress was made, but more still have to be done. have to buck up and give it all i got tomorrow. feeling kinda tired now, till later.

2009-01-05T17:26:00.003+08:00

time flies, and it has been eons since i last posted.

there's really a huge inertia when it comes to posting this blog nowadays.

life's been interesting lately, with eventful turns at unexpected points. definitely not an ideal holiday, but it was definitely not one that i dread too. nonetheless, life has been synonymous with mundane, & my expectations weren't soaring, so all has been well and good, as far as i'm concerned.

caught up with a few friends, namely, haoteng and company. yet again, not the most ideal of all situations, but i see potential in this friendship, and it can, and i believe, would go a long way. hope it flourishes!

life goes on...

2008-10-18T23:02:00.003+08:00

all the best to the O-levelers!

we know that this road has been long and arduous, but you're already sprinting the last lap, why not give it your best shot and throw in everything that you've got, even if it's just a surge of confidence or a breath of air. extinguish it and push your limits to the fullest and beyond! show the world what you're made of, and be an impact in the world and a contribution to the society in the future!

i have felt the agony of those who fear. i have seen the streaming crystalline tears of sorrow and anxiety, and i feel for them. do not worry, fret not! conquer those fears and inhibitions, give it a twist of grace, and use it to your advantage. focus and concentrate on whatever resources and time left, make full good use of them, and extend the potential of such precious time. practise your math and sciences, memorise your humanities, syncronise your mind for the major battle that lay before you. have faith and believe in yourself. you can do it!

jiayous!

2008-10-18T22:49:00.003+08:00

i have been reflecting on my life and the way i have been carrying it out. far from perfect would be a perfect potray of my life, and i believe that it is the time when change occurs and improve my circumstances. time will always be passable, and it'll significantly extinguish itself, with the passing of the seconds.

however, whether we grasp the significance of time, is another matter, and whether we grab the opportunities that come along in our life, is yet another matter that is worthy of our food for thought. chances do not come along that easily, neither is it as occasional as a shooting star. however, what is important is the ability to identify such opportunities that come by, because once this particular opportunity slips past, you do not know when will the next similar chance come by.therefore, recognise such blessings, push its potential to the fullest and bring yourself to the next level in life!

focus and concentration is crucial in life

2008-10-14T10:40:00.003+08:00

in hope to lead a day of western culture, i decided to take leave from my air-conditioned bedroom and head down to my garden for a sun-bath, also known as a sun-tanning session. however, all was futile when the dark clouds roam in, leaving me in the shadows. i guess God too, noticed my procrasinating actions, and decides to correct me, before it's too late. without any options, i retreated upstairs for a bath, in defeat... i guess life does work in an interesting way...

alright, back to organising my life, and room...

2008-10-14T09:56:00.004+08:00

alright, nicholas, go and organise your life

starting with your study table, followed by your room, and then your life

and a nice shower would be something good to start off with...

2008-10-14T09:25:00.004+08:00

procrastination has started to kick in, and it's time to keep it under control. honestly, and truthfully, i have to start clearing up and organise my study table, and life as a whole. without organisation and coherence, nothing will be accomplished and succeeded.

on the other hand, yesterday i felt the temptation of lust. in prior to that, i realised that such desires are perfectly normal, in fact, it just shows that your hormones are working along well. however, it's important to keep it under control and resist lust. besides, such resistance to lust or any other temptation and desire, such as greed, are basically just trails and tribulations that we go through and the tougher tests, the greater your value is to the kingdom. therefore, upon passing the test you face in the present, those in the future will be intensified. prove your worth, prove your existence, glorify the Lord!

nicholas, go and organise your life!

2008-10-12T20:00:00.002+08:00

just finished my dinner, and had a rejuvenating bath. the past two days have been fulfilling, and i have learnt a lot about myself within these two days. in the process, i managed to have fun, and enjoyment in my work is evidently shown.

speaking of which, due to the fact that my bus journey back home, earlier just now, was a relatively long one, and it was a good time for me to reflect on my life, as well as the flaws that i held within me. it was indeed a time of enlightenment, and i am truly thankful for that period of personal understanding. it was a time whereby i could realised and understood the differences in lust and love, and i finally realised the reason to failure in my past relationship.

love; giving at the expense of oneself
lust; taking at the expense of others

i focussed too much on the latter, and overlooked on the former...

2008-10-11T10:36:00.003+08:00

my life has been like a fleeting cloud, since the end of the end of year examinations, and it has not been exactly interesting for the past few hours. hopefully, the momentum will pick up and i will dwell into productive work.

firstly, i believe that it's a good time to draw up a schedule or plan for the next few weeks to come, and maybe some reading up in preparation for next year would do some good, especially in the field of academics. apart from that, my hunger pangs for good books have commenced it's operations, and i believe that it's high time to satisfy them. maybe some spiritual growth would do some good?

who knows?

2008-10-11T10:33:00.002+08:00

alright, i came across this interesting catchphrase, that i thought i could share

you choose the way to live, but not the way you die

food for thought

2008-10-10T21:22:00.002+08:00

boredom murders. though the exams have barely ended hours ago, i think it's time to draw up a priority and planning list, so that i'll be able to maximise the full potential of time that i have within my grasp. perhaps it is also advisable to start reading some topics in prior to the major examination in a year's time.

all the best, to those who have yet to take their exams!

2008-10-10T20:42:00.003+08:00

finally. the exams are over and out. the last paper was not exactly simple, and a little critical thinking is essential for a distinction of the good and bad. firstly, i want to thank all those who wished me well-wishes and those who prayed for me. i'm sure that without your nice gestures, the examination would not have passed by as smoothly. therefore, my heartfelt gratitude should be extended to you.

the long and short of it, thank you!

2008-10-09T19:53:00.002+08:00

i have to study physics now

i must study physics now

i'll study physics now

2008-10-09T19:20:00.002+08:00

i have been thinkin about this, classify it under random thoughts, if you wish

but yes, you're darn right, you're no worth it

not worth my time, not worth my affections

perhaps someone better has just yet to arrive

or maybe she has, but i'm not taking any chances

2008-10-09T18:53:00.002+08:00

yes, definitely. it has been a while since i posted an entry on this lifeless blog. oh wells, i had to take sometime off from this lifeless creature too, just in case, it swallows me with procrastination.

but yes, life's been passing by me, real fast, and times flies. come to think of it, tomorrow's my last paper of the year, the world really revolves around me, in a blink of an eye. maybe it's not the time to do some reflections for the year, but the mood complements it.

a year of breakthroughs and revelations

a year of failures and understanding them

a year of understanding oneself better

2008-09-06T16:53:00.008+08:00

it's been months, and with the fading of time

i realized that my feelings for you, are certain

love's an irrational thing that exists in our lives,

and you're, certainly, the beholder of mine

2008-09-06T16:25:00.002+08:00

time flies. and the september holidays will cease to exist with the blink of an eye.

Life's been good. though the adversities were evident, the faith's still strong

I'm thankful that God has found and touched me again, never will I forsake him

He has opened my eyes to the things unseen, and made me understand myself better

It is through him, whereby I met such great friends in cell group

By grace, through faith, he made us a greater spiritual being

Praise to the Lord!

2008-08-18T09:31:00.002+08:00

it's been almost three months since our separation
but my feelings for you still remain unfaltered
never really understood how much you meant to me, till i lost you
& the ultimatum of feelings came much recently

it's only of much recent weeks
when my feelings for you, started flooding my life again
healing my heart, seeking a revival

sincerity is what i can offer
love is what i can give
a reconciliation is what i seek

a second chance; i pray

you're always gonna be the one,
you'll always be inside my heart,
now, & forever

2008-08-10T19:47:00.003+08:00

seeking reconciliation

seeking forgiveness

seeking a second chance

is it possible between the two of us?

i shall leave it to god's grace...

2008-08-10T13:38:00.003+08:00

breaking of hiatus

status redefined

blossoming of a new relationship

a web of connections

isn't life, interesting?

2008-07-21T20:46:00.003+08:00

a delayed arrival

a warm handshake

appreciation of gifts

appreciation & acceptance of two cultures

a blossoming friendship...

2008-07-21T20:45:00.001+08:00

the only constant, is known as change

change is inevitable

accept it and move on...

life goes on...

2008-07-20T16:25:00.002+08:00

with the twinkling of the stars, like fireflies

and the blushing fruit that hangs upon that vine

and the face of a baby, as he forms his first smile

i see you

and the whisper of the winds of lullaby

and the laughter and the roar of the rushing tide

and the song of the sparrow, as it takes it's first flight

i hear you

so i'll give you my heart and my soul

and a world where so much is right, but so much is wrong

love is my beginning,

and i know it won't be too long till i see yours...

i love you

2008-07-20T16:22:00.003+08:00

life is about...

falling down,

shedding tears of sorrow and pain,

wiping them away,

and moving on from there...

2008-07-20T15:55:00.002+08:00

tentative test dates

monday - elementary mathematics
tuesday - biology test
thursday - chemistry test

there might be more to come...

off to shower!

2008-07-20T15:46:00.002+08:00

gosh!

i'm unable to sit and focus on my biology revision, much less to say about the commencement of my elementary mathematics practice. alright, though, elementary is reflected, a moderate amount of revision must be done, sigh!

perhaps, a shower would do the trick...

2008-07-20T14:18:00.002+08:00

procrastination, you're no longer in me

there's so much to do, yet so little time left

there's no more time to waste...

first up, it's biology!

Let's go, I'm ready.

2008-07-20T13:53:00.002+08:00

truth be told, i've procrastinated my entire morning away

if a time-machine does exist, a laptop/computer would be the answer

it kills time, loads of time, and before you realise, you're in the future...

that's when the future takes the rightful place of the present

2008-07-20T13:44:00.002+08:00

Perhaps not as strong as those who have immersed themselves in the same emotion for too long, but I can say that for once, I felt a very strong connection. I almost feel ashamed that it took me so long, but it's the truth, and I do not fear admitting it. So tell me what my next step should be from here. I have the will, now to find the way.

I realized that i'm never angry with people, but circumstances...

2008-07-20T13:39:00.002+08:00

anyway, next week's a week of tests

and i'm long in due of revision

perhaps i should do so later...

as for now, i shall just satisfy my flair for writing =)

2008-07-20T12:55:00.005+08:00

It used to make me wonder how people had major turning points in their life through the smallest of events, how happenings could make one emote and reflect so heavily. But now I no longer question the possibility of it happening to me.

life goes on...

only in the presence of light, will shadows appear...

i know that i have to hurry up, and catch the last train to lead me out...

can i do as much as i believe i can?

beautiful moments of yesterday, bring forth greater expectations of tomorrow

and reality lies in between...

2008-07-19T22:02:00.001+08:00

Comme la belle lune dans l'ouest, c'est pour moi Céleste

2008-07-18T23:05:00.000+08:00

La pleine lune dans l'ouest, c’est pour moi Céleste